Part 2 of 5 – Self Awareness as the Foundation to Self-Love
If you missed part 1 of this 5 part blog series, I encourage you to read it here. In this blog series, we are exploring how self-love is the key to your empowerment. In that exploration, we are diving into the 4 aspects of self-love: self-awareness, (which we will cover today) self-worth, self-esteem and self-care.
Of these 4 defining aspects of self-love, self awareness is the foundation that all other aspects lie upon. Not only is self-awareness the foundation to self-love, but it is the foundation and the key to all personal growth and transformation.The deeper of an understanding we have of self-awareness, the more empowered we become in our lives to embody that awareness, and to gain the benefits of the magic that comes along with it.
Like many things in the world of mental health and well being, definitions can vary, however, psychologists Shelly Duval and Robert Wicklund give us a great definition of self-awareness: “Self-awareness is the ability to focus on yourself and how your actions, thoughts, or emotions do or don’t align with your internal standards.” In other words, self-awareness can be seen as being honest with ourselves about who we are, inside and out, and doing our best to understand how we are interpreted by others around us. The more self-aware we are, the more honest we are with ourselves about our actual well being and how our actions affect not only ourselves, but also those around us.
A crucial piece of self-awareness is personal responsibility. The more responsible we are for ourselves, the more personal power we have access to. By becoming aware of how we operate internally and being honest with ourselves about our conditioned behavioral patterns, we can become aware of our “programming,” and we can lovingly adapt and grow into a more conscious and empowered version of ourselves. This is a process, and is something that we are always evolving in, and it isn’t always easy, but you don’t have to go at it alone. 1:1 coaching sessions can help provide you with the space, tools, and resources necessary to become aware of your “programming” and to reprogram and recondition yourself into your highest potential.
Self-awareness isn’t always a “positive” experience. It can be painful to recognize that we have triggers that lead to conditioned behavioral patterns that cause recurrent issues in our lives, and this is where having a coach can be greatly beneficial. For instance, being honest and recognizing that we nag our partners with our grievances, or engage in passive aggressive behaviors, rather than being open about our feelings in our relationships can be a hard thing to recognize about ourselves. We might have to admit that our perceived relationship problems are not solely the other person’s fault, as we take responsibility for our conditioned behaviors.
The majority of our coping mechanisms and relationship communication patterns are developed in our younger years, between the ages of 8 and 14, and so most of our behaviors as adults are actually just pre-programmed responses to experiences we had in our adolescence. The more aware we become of our patterns and of our conditioning, the more control we have over them, and the more personal power we can gain. Self-awareness is an ever evolving skill, and it isn’t something that we just one day master. It is something that we must always be paying attention to, and always have on our radar.
We show ourselves love through self-awareness by taming the inner critic and by re-parenting ourselves. When we come face to face with the conditioned ways of behaving that cause issues in our lives, we are given a choice to lovingly accept ourselves and allow for change or to choose to let the inner critic drive and subsequently “get down” on ourselves. As we practice self-awareness and do so in loving ways, we effectively become the perfect parent to ourselves. 1:1 coaching sessions offer you the space to lovingly work on taming your inner critic, and provides you with tools and resources to overcome your conditioning and to empower yourself in your life. Apply for free today to see if working with me would be a good fit for you.
Lastly I’ll leave you with one of my favorite tools to increase self-awareness and to become aware of internal patterns and conditioning. It is a series of teachings by Richard Rudd known as the Gene Keys. This is one of the tools I utilize in my coaching. It is a beautiful synthesis of wisdom, archetypes and various teachings that allow for deep contemplation of our lives so that we can understand our hidden potential. It allows us to look inside while also looking outside and gives us a structure through which to recognize patterns and conditioning. If this is something that interests you, I invite you to contact me directly to discuss offerings I have available to assist you in your Gene Keys study and voyage.
In the next piece of this blog series we’ll discuss the second aspect of self-love, which is self-worth. Stay tuned and if you haven’t signed up for email updates, be sure to do so that you can stay up to date with this and other great blog posts all designed to empower you.